All the peacocks are now singing out, one after the other. One leads, and the others repeat. Śrīmatī was hiding in a cave in Māna-gaṛh, scratching the ground with Her toe. Why was Rādhārānī in such deep māna? Early that morning the sakhīs were decorating Śrīmatī Rādhārānī with flowers, mehendi, and ornaments. Kṛṣṇa came, and Syāmā and Lalitā also decorated Him. Then they gave a mirror in front for Kṛṣṇa to see Himself. The sakhīs said, “Look at your face, Kṛṣṇa. What do You think?” Then they gave a mirror to Śrīmatī Rādhārānī and said, “Look how beautiful Śrīmatī is!” “Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa saw each other’s faces and were very happy. The sakhīs asked Kṛṣṇa, “How is Rādhārānī’s face?”
He said, “Rādhārānī’s face is more beautiful than Candra, the full moon. I never saw Her face decorated so wonderfully as you have done today.”
Hearing this, Śrīmatī became very angry. She ran away very fast and hid where no one could find Her. Śrīmatī Rādhārānī said, “You compared My face to the Moon! The Moon has a bad character, and his body is covered with leprosy! He is useless. Are you implying that I too am of loose character? Do I have blemishes on My face?” Rādhikā thought that now She would not keep any relation with Kṛṣṇa, and She ran away.
Then Kṛṣṇa was suffering. He thought, “What can I do? Where should I go? How can I find Her and pacify Her māna? How can I appease Her?” He asked Lalitā and Syāmā, “Why is She so angry?”
Lalitā and Viśākhā said, “You can’t understand. Why did You compare Her with the Moon? You don’t know the character of the Moon? Once, Candra ran away with his guru’s wife. He is useless and stupid! How could you compare our Rādhārānī with him?”
Kṛṣṇa thought, “I’ve made a big blunder. How can I atone for this?”
He thought for a long time, and then Syāmalā, Tungavidyā, and Citrā came and arranged a program. They said, “Only by calling peacocks and starting a dance will Śrīmatī Rādhārānī come out. She likes the peacocks, cuckoos, deer, and other animals—their hearts are clean, and they are simple.”
Now the peacocks were dancing and calling and Kṛṣṇa was praying:
rādhe vṛndāvana-vilāsinī, rādhe rādhe
rādhe kānu-mana-mohinī rādhe rādhe
rādhe aṣṭa-sakhīra śiromaṇi, rādhe rādhe
rādhe vṛṣabhānu-nandinī, rādhe rādhe
makheśvari! kriyeśvari svadheśvari sureśvari
rameśvari! kṣameśvari pramoda-kānaneśvari
vrajeśvari vrajādhipe śrī rādhike namo ’stu te
Śrī Rādhā-Kṛpā-Kaṭākṣa-Stava-Rāja 12
“O Kṣameśvari, please forgive Me. You are the īśvarī of forgiveness. You have the power to forgive. Please excuse Me. I did wrong.”
Then Kṛṣṇa danced, and Śrīmatī heard the peacocks singing. She thought, “All the birds and deer are suffering for Me. They are crying and calling out to Me. They are fasting and hungry; without Me, they cannot eat or drink. It is not good that I stay hiding in this cave.”
Vraja-vadhū-nayanāñjana: All the Vraja-devīs’ eyes were wet with tears that streamed from their eyes. Kṛṣṇa Himself was also suffering. All the birds and animals were suffering and eager for darśana of Rādhārānī. Mama vāṅmaya-jīvitam: You are our life and soul. If you don’t grant us Your darśana, our life will be finished.
Śrīmatī Rādhārānī understood everyone’s heart and came out to give darśana. She watched all the peacocks dancing, suffering in her separation. All the birds, parrots, cuckoos, and pigeons were waiting around. Without Śrīmatī’s darśana, they would wait there, fasting to death.
Their hearts were melting for Her darśana. Kṛṣṇa understood their separation and was therefore also suffering, thinking, “I’ve made a mistake, and because of me Rādhārānī is not giving Her darśana to anyone.” Kṛṣṇa felt how much love they have for Śrīmatī that they cannot survive for one moment without Her.
Mama vāṅmaya-jīvitam: “Please come, only speak a little, stroke us, and give us Your darśana; this is enough to maintain our lives. We eat grass and fruits; we don’t need to be fed, we only want your darśana.”
She came out very gracefully, taking slow steps. There She saw a big assembly. Millions of devotees had come, and they were all calling for Her. Then Śrīmatī slowly came and saw the peacocks dancing and offering praṇāma at Her lotus feet. Everyone came forward in turn and touched Her feet. Kṛṣṇa was also present, covered with peacock feathers. No one could understand who He was. His face was covered with a veil, and He had the appearance of a peacock. He came forward, offered praṇāma, and laid there. She stroked Him with Her hand, unaware who the peacock was. She said, “Don’t worry, I am not disturbed any longer.”
Kṛṣṇa replied, “Please excuse me.”
The sakhīs requested, “Please forgive Him.”
How is the mādhurya of Śrīmatī! The Vraja-devīs and everyone in Vraja-bhūmi thinks about Her! She gives strength to everyone. Svarūpa-śakti’s power rejuvenated everyone. The Vrajavāsīs are only waiting to hear a few words from Her. Anyone who drinks this nectar gets energized by it. Śrīmatī Rādhārānī’s darśana and hearing one word from Her are enough for the Vrajavāsīs’ life to return. The vraja-vadhūs only aspire for Rādhārānī’s darśana. They keep no other picture in their hearts.
Srila Bilamangala Thakur ki Jaya! (Excerpted from the Bhaktabhandav book publication, “Sri Krsna Karnamrta: Available from: [email protected] )